Samskara, Ahimsa & the Fear of Being Too Much
"Healing is not about becoming better. It’s about becoming more authentically you." - Rev. Serenity Tedesco
So many of us found yoga and Dharma through pain—not just physical, but emotional. What we didn’t realize is that the same conditioning that made us suffer… came with us into the practice.
“I learned to leave my body before I ever left the house.”
This one line contains volumes.
In yogic terms, that’s pratyahara reversed—a premature withdrawal not into inner awareness, but into dissociation.
It’s not your fault.
Most of us were taught that our presence was a problem. That our voice, joy, grief, bigness… was a disruption.
So what do we do?
We spiritualize our coping.
We become the perfect yogi.
We quote the Gita and bow deeply and say all the “right” things.
But inside?
We’re still trying to be small enough to survive.
This is the modern seeker’s samskara:
Performing for love while calling it devotion.
The Yogic Lens
In the Yoga Sutras, samskara refers to the latent impressions left in the mind-body by past experiences. They condition our behavior until they are consciously met and transformed.
When a child learns that being loud, joyful, or assertive leads to punishment or abandonment, a samskara forms:
“Being myself = danger.”
Later in life, that same samskara leads us to:
Stay quiet in relationships.
Avoid visibility in business.
Sabotage opportunities because we “don’t want to take up too much space.”
What’s the antidote?
Svadhyaya – self-study.
Ahimsa – non-harming, starting with the self.
Ishvara pranidhana – surrendering our control and trusting that our true Self is worthy without performance.
Healing is not about becoming better.
It’s about becoming more authentically you.
The Buddhist Lens
In Buddhist psychology, these patterns are known as conditioning or habit energies (vāsanā).
Thich Nhat Hanh teaches that we don’t need to fight these energies. We meet them with mindfulness and compassion.
The belief that you’re “too much” is just a thought. A formation.
You don’t have to believe it.
“When you touch your suffering with awareness, it begins to transform.” — TNH
The fear of being “too much” is an illusion upheld by ego-clinging (ahaṅkāra) and self-grasping.
Let it drop.
Let the bigness of your being rise.
Let your full expression be an act of liberation, not a liability.
